Introductions
Well hello!
The birth of this blog feels long overdue, but also it feels somewhat right on time. In all honesty, I’ve been sitting with this idea and desire of wanting to launch a blog since 2016, but never really felt confident enough in what I had to say and wasn’t really sure that anyone would want to read it. These reasons for delaying are so important as to why launching this blog is a must. The past six months, I’ve finally been choosing to step out of that dark, deep well of insecurity to share my thoughts and experiences.
But…before I begin the sharing, let me start by introducing myself.
I’m Chantel.
Now normally, in a conversation where I’m giving an introduction to who I am, I would feel compelled to immediately attach a marker of some sort after my name to make sure it’s known that I am…something or I am doing something. For example, “I’m Chantel, and I’m a teacher…student…executive assistant…from Mississippi.”
But these days, I’ve been practicing finding comfort in the silence that follows after just saying, “Hi, I’m Chantel”.
This could sound a little strange, but the reason this silence feels so good is because it signifies a pivotal point in my life where I’m finally learning how to enjoy just being me, as a stand alone entity/person/vibe. It also signifies that I don’t feel the need to be attached or tied to an occupation in order to feel worthy of existing in this world. And I celebrate that because there was a time (a very long time) where I felt like being me just simply wasn’t enough. So, yay to working on healing those insecurities!
Now, if you do want to know more about me and what I do, by all means keep reading this post or head over to my “About Me” page for a shorter, more succinct version.
So, what’s my story?
I’m a southern girl at heart, born on the Mississippi Gulf Coast and raised in the small fishing town of Pascagoula.
I grew up surrounded by a large family and spent many of my days barefoot on my grandma’s porch and in my mama’s backyard. I’m the youngest sibling and youngest grandchild of my maternal grandmother, Ms. Bernice Christine. I’m my Auntie Tricia’s niecey, and I’m my family’s Channy.
At the age of 18, I moved to the California Bay Area to study at UC Berkeley thanks to receiving the Gates Millennium Scholarship…a no joke application process, y’all. Nine essays and several letters of recommendations later and I was on my way out West, fully financially supported.
Berkeley dorm days on the Afro floor
Arriving to Berkeley was a love at first sight kind of thing as I traipsed down Telegraph Avenue…feeling like the black female version of Harry Potter in Diagon Alley (where my HP nerds at?)
I was exposed to countless languages, cultures, religions, ways of thinking, and more…and I completely dove in, unafraid. Oh, how I miss that younger curious version of me - no worries, though I’m working towards reuniting with her each day.
Although living in Berkeley was a completely new experience…I eventually began to crave more. So, I took advantage of study abroad opportunities and traveled to places outside of California such as NYC, France, Italy, and other countries (more on those experiences in future blog posts).
A sneak peek into some of my adventures :)
Eventually graduation came, and I embarked on a new chapter as a full-time professional.
Thee only black grad in my entire department in 2015
For two years, I worked as an admin and program coordinator for youth educational and behavioral services. I was offered many opportunities to travel across the US representing my employer and connecting with high school students - a dream! It was during this time that a seed was planted and I became vocal about supporting youth expression and personal mental wellness.
Eventually, my own health began to decline drastically and my time in California felt like it was coming to an end in mid-2021. I started to feel like I was being gently pulled back home to Pascagoula. This tug felt so natural and like a hard yes to me, which was so surprising to my family because I’d been so ready to leave the nest and “never return” as a high school teen. Yes, I was that emo moody child with the swoop bang + off brand Converse sneakers.
Emo moody Catholic to be exact
But as I said, things came to an end in the Bay and without hesitation, I packed my bags and hit the road in my lil’ Corolla to drive back south. After a solo ten day road trip through the Southwest, I made it back to Mississippi and sank deeply into my home soil - and it was so very necessary that I did.
I came home so sure that I was ready to push up my sleeves and “help to support” my community. And I did. I decided to move further into working with young people, and became an educator in the Pascagoula/Moss Point School District.
It was indeed an eye-opening and challenging experience. There’s so much to say about the Education system, but I’ll save that for another blog post. All I can say is, sincere applause to the teachers and staff who are continuing to show up every day in spite of it all.
Halfway into working, though, I had a huge realization that I needed to take a moment and step back to support myself, first.
While I’d been off “living the life” in Cali and abroad for ten years, I was also battling major depression, and had been since a teenager. As I accumulated experiences, memories, and shifts- some not so pleasant and more so icky, my emotional baggage was becoming more burdensome and I was slowly losing the fight to “keep it together.” So when I returned home, all of the holding onto and sucking it in came spilling out, and I had to finally begin working through what I’d been avoiding.
Yoga and being outside are my major remedies
And so I did…but not without the jolting wake up call that came in the form of a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis.
I’ll share more specifics about how I manage my health later, but for now, it’s important to highlight that all of these moments eventually led to a quiet chapter of space and time in my life that I dedicated to healing.
After consistently working to repair my emotional foundation and nervous system, I’m proud to say that the results are lookin’ quite good, and that this website is apart of that.
Click here to learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder.
Speaking of website…what exactly is the purpose of all this? Well, my intentions have changed over the years but my overarching prayer for this digital space is to share with you my travels, my personal wellness insights, and all the things that’ve been sitting on the tip of my tongue and at the center of my heart waiting to be expressed.
It’s my hope that by sharing my longtime and daily experiences, I might resonate with someone or a few folks and ultimately offer support, encouragement, curiosity…maybe even some inspiration to those who read.
I also hope that conversations will spur and unfold, and that wisdom, solutions, and contemplations can be exchanged both ways!
The origination of my blog idea was formed back in 2016 when I wanted to share about the ugly, racist experiences I’d encountered while living abroad as a black woman.
I was so very angry at the time, and felt like I needed to scream into the digital void in hopes that someone could relate and offer comfort. But, for the reasons I first mentioned at the beginning of this post, I didn’t launch, share, or rage. And of course, time kept on moving and more experiences kept on forming as I kept on living.
As I sit here now, finally confident and ready to create this space, I’m setting the intention that this website reaches the people that it’s meant to reach and that it can resonate.
May I be a resource, a part of your support system, and maybe even your cheerleader ;) because it’s what I needed and still need as I navigate through my own life.
Thank you for being here, for joining in the conversation, and for being curious!
xx Chantel